The trampoline


The second day upon our arrival we visited the surrounding towns and went among others to the hospital that the diocese runs. There we greeted the librarian of the school, she was sick and had been that for a while. I was thinking that it only should take some days before she came back to school. But she didn´t, she had a tough cancer and on the following Saturday she passed away at the age of 40, leaving a couple of two year old twins with a sick father behind.

 

When I started grade 7 I began a new school with football specific. I had had two amazing years behind med, my two most social years so far in life and I had quite much self-confidence. Two weeks into the term all of it was gone, taken away from me because I was so vulnerable for being ignored. After two weeks everything I built up was gone, and the following months should be the personally toughest in my life, not because lack of water, food, a good house or any materialistic thing. It was because I was so ignored in school and felt so lonely that I started to reflect about how life after this should be.

 

The librarian died on a Saturday morning. A few hours later almost 50 people had gathered at her house to sorrow and support each other and especially the closest ones, they spent three days at the house to be with the family. The funeral was on the Sunday the day after and then almost 500 people had made it possible to come. The burden was carried together.

 

During the worst period that autumn there were two people who carried me and saved me. And the interesting thing is that they didn’t know it themselves. They carried my burden just throughout being with me and making me feel like a person. But in doing so they helped me carry that burden.

 

Tough things we all meet, no matter where in the world we are. The difference is how to rise up. In Sweden and many western societies we are assumed to climb up by ourselves or take help from one, two or three other friends, like it was for me. We reduce the fall as much as possible so we don´t need to fight so hard to get up. In this culture it´s more that the community of people creates a big trampoline that you fall down on and the harder and